Simple Truth #1

Senior Year of High School.
I was home sick.
Can you tell?

I go crazy by myself.

Not going to run away from myself anymore, though.

I deserve answers; I deserve better.

I love ya'll.
There might be some changes in the future that you're not use to; and that's exciting to me.

If you don't like them, you're not obligated to stay, but know that I won't accept anyone's efforts to set me back.

♥Kelsey E. Benedict

April Challenge: Project Pan // + March Challenge results

Hey there, hi there, ho there!

Bonus points to the reader that can name the show I borrowed that line from without looking it up. ;D

 

The results of the March Challenge: Being Okay W/Being Alone (Plus the Addendum)

 

My final goal was to start to learn to trust myself . . . how did I do?

 

Results: Once broken, it's hard to earn back - even something as simple as trust in oneself.  All in all, I was able to trust myself more than when I started the challenge, which is a step in the right direction for me. 

 

While I'm not exactly where I want to be, I do consider March's challenge a success that I will continue to grow with.

 

Now then - tally onward!

April Challenge: Project Pan

A bathroom picture?!
I spoil you guys.

So what the heck is Project Pan?

 

Project Pan orginated from the head of some random beauty guru on YouTube (Google does not know which one - the answers that popped up aren't confirmable on YouTube) and was orginally meant as a beauty resolution: the idea is that you won't buy more make-up products until you use up certain products you already own [make up has an expiration date, ya'll!].

 

I am taking PP one step further; I always did like to up the odds. 

 

I'm not swearing off just buying unneccesary make-up; I'm swearing off buying everything that is unneccesary. 

 

As a society, we are far too interested in material possesions. 

Personally, there are very few items I cherish (journals dating back to my kindergarten years, a stuffed animal my great-grandfather bought me the day I was born [his name is Fritz!  The dog, not GGF.]), and I'm quite proud of that; I am not ruled by my possesions.

 

I have a lot of stuff that I have purchased in the past 5 years that I don't use much - perfumes, clothing, facial beauty stuff (b/c when I was younger I was determined: I would not age physically ;]P ) - and it's time to use it up and wear it out.

 

So for April, my goal is to use up what I have, not buy excess, and to not buy something I already have until it is neccesary to replace it . . . if the item turns out to be neccesary at all (Journals?  Definitely.  Nail polish?  Not so much).

 

What is something you buy extra of?

Is there an item you could add to your "Project Pan" list?

Sound off! ^^

♥Kelsey E. Benedict



Cherish THIS: Memory Lane

Hey Babes!

How's your Wednesday going?

 

In case the title didn't tip you off, I will: today's post is of the personal variety.

 

How do you feel about your memories? 

I flip-flop between cherishing them and cursing their existance.  I'm an extremist through and through.

 

Today, I want to share some stronger emotional memories with ya'll.  Because they are pretty darn prolific for me.

 

I looked something like this that year. 2010

 The other day, while cutting my hair, a song came on that evokes a strong connotation for me.

Have a listen while I tell my story, bro:

 

 

"Just A Dream" came out in August 2010, around the same time my two-year relationship was reaching it's all-time low.  There was no trust, we were on the verge of a break up, and I was having a mental breakdown of my own, on the side, for reasons I'm not going to get into here (one story at a time).

And this.

We did eventually break up, only to "recover" or reunite a few days later, for a few more months.  During the time when we were back together, this song became one of my favorites to listen to (along with Eminem & Rihanna's "Love the Way You Lie," which speaks for itself, doesn't it?) -- I knew we weren't going to last much longer, and I had already accomplished my goal: proving to myself that I could stay in a long-term relationship.  I wasn't a quitter; I had overcome a lot to stay.

 

But we'd soured. 

I remember that during this period my boyfriend-at-the-time would come over for dinner - my family has always been inviting of accepted friends; so he ate at my house often.  I had recently become enamored with Cajan food, so we were making gumbo for my family, and I cranked this song while we cooked and my family joked around.

 

I realized that asking him out again was a big mistake.

It was a pattern of dependence; I didn't feel ready to be alone.

I didn't want all that effort to go to waste.

But I didn't want him, either.

 

I remember listening to this song and thinking that I wasn't as happy as I should be, as I'd once been; and he loved me more than I liked him.  I saw our disentanglement: it was a sticky, painful mess.

 

And that's what this song reminds me of.

I ended that year lookin' like this.
My hair has always been what I change when I'm stressed.

I have one more memory to share, so don't feel shorted, Lovelies. ;]P

 

My radio loves to play this one (the sadistic bi-yach), so listen while you read, ja?

 

 

 

As I mentioned before, we did break up for a few days.  Or, he broke up with me, but neither of us really wanted to break up, so . . . well, you know a little of the story.

 

At that time I had a blog called Kels' Corner - which I deleted in 2011.  [God,  how the journalist and writer in me regrets that - those were raw emotions, and those are so much more powerful and useful than a well scripted story.] 

 

Alas, I digress.

Anyway, we broke up while I was visiting him at his mom's house.  He'd received a laptop for graduation that year, so we'd been playing music videos before this all went down; and since we'd agreed to still be friends after the break-up, we listened to a few more songs before I biked home for the day. 

And this.
Why do I have long hair again?

Everytime it was his turn to choose a song, he picked this.  Now Lovelies, I'm a bit dense.  A lotta' bit.  Music is powerful and has it's own bite; each song tells a story and conveys a series of emotions - and while painfully obvious to everyone that has ever listened to country music, I really didn't see it at the time. 

 

'Didn't even really like the song, honestly.

 

Listening now, though, I'm reminded of that break-up.

The rushing feelings of:

relieve (I'm free!)

sadness (I think I'm supposed to feel sad, right?  Well, I am a little.)

elatedness (F-R-E-E, motherfuckers!)

contemplativenss (I suddenly have a lot of free time.  I guess this gives me more time to  . . . obsess.  Fuck.)

 

. . . all swirled through my head.

 

I biked home, listening to my iPod.  The sappy romantic songs didn't prompt emotion, the silly ones did.  All in all, I was a little down.

 

I told my family.  My mom bought me a candy bar to celebrate, my sister; a mango energy drink.  She also high fived me.

 

And that, tired readers, is what that song reminds me of.

 

Why did I post this?
 

Memories can be laid to rest when their shared - either through communication, writing; whatever.

 

And I think that it was time to let them go in a way that commemorates the lessons learned.

 

Do you associate songs or music with certain memories?
Share them below if you're comfortable doing so. ;D

 

♥Kelsey E. Benedict

Hey, Four Eyes! A Firmoo Glasses Review [Sponsored]

'Lo, Lovelies!

Since I've never posted a sponsored blog post before, let me explain to you guys what goes on when I review anything from a sponsor.

• All my opinions are honest and genuine - I will never accept a deal that asks me to lie or varnish the truth.
• The content of the post will be a mixture of what the company has asked that I review, and what I have come across on my own - flaws, things I really like, etc.

I know some readers think that sponsored posts are just a load of shit that the author spews forth in exchange for free stuff -- and that's not the case! 

 

So please keep an open mind, and if you are a glasses enthusiast or blinder-than-a-bat without yours, keep on reading. 8D  

 

 

Firmoo contacted me back at the beginning of February about reviewing their glasses in exchange for a free pair - and when I checked out Firmoo.com, it seemed way too good to be true - prescription glasses for as low as $16? Hell, that's affordable!

 

I'm an adventurer (who hasn't taken an arrow to the knee; for all my Skyrim-playing readers), so I jumped on the deal!

 

I chose the Unisex Full Frame Acetate Glasses #ZS5104 - which are sadly no longer in stock at the time of publishing.

 

 

What I Like about Firmoo:

+ Fantastically affordable prices

+ Variety of colored frames and lens shapes

+ The "try-it-on" feature - you can upload a picture of your face, or use one of the sample face shape pictures to see what the glasses would look like on - brill!

What I Don't Like about Firmoo:

- *How long the glasses took to come in.  I ordered in the beginning of February, and didn't come in until early March (Apparently the supplier went on vacation)

- The lens get dirty easily.  I'm not sure if there's a difference in the makeup of my RxOptical lens or what, but Firmoo's lens seem to attract smudges and dirt like flies.

- How quickly glasses disappear.  If you see a pair you like, buy 'em now - they don't stay around for long!

 

Firmoo also has these really cool deal called the First Pair Free program - the cost of the lens & glasses is free, and all you pay is the cost of shipping.  If you are a prescribtion glasses wearer, you know that deal is amazing!

 

Are you habitual glasses-wearer?  Would you consider buying online?

 

♥Kelsey E. Benedict

When Faced With Confrontation & Backed In a Corner, Do You Cower, or Do You Get Mad and Fight?

Sigh.  Hey guys.
It's been a long 24 hours for me - I've had a lot of events go down with my immediate family that are upsetting and potentially life-altering. 

I don't know about you, but that's a shite-ton of stress that just landed on my chest, and is nesting there.  Kind of like my cat does when she wants me to stay with her - she'll growl, hiss, sink in her claws, and nuzzle up to me.

I'm not blind, though - I do see the potential and possibility to grow and implement my March Challenge of working on trusting myself through these unfortunate situations.

So today I'd like to share some quotes with you that have made me feel better and gotten me through tough times (images included).

“ If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together . . . there is something you must always remember.

You are braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think.

But the most important thing is, even if we're apart . . .

I'll always be with you. ” 

- Christopher Robin, A.A. Milne

If you get a chance, take it.

If it changes your life, let it.

 

" I am not a princess.

I did not grow up in a privileged environment and home,

with love spewing forth from every crevice and corner.

I cooked for myself, I cared for myself, and I raised my siblings and family when I wasn't trying to figure out who I was.

My style is unique to me; maybe you like it and maybe you don't, either way, I don't really care.

All I am looking for is to be successful in the ways I want - I want love, I want health, I want entertaining situations.

Be a part of it, but beware if you try to take it away - I am stronger than you. Not physically, mentally.

Physically, maybe you can kick my ass (I doubt that, because I get into fights quite a lot).

Mentally, I can fucking tear you apart, put you together, and break you again.

If you let me to close, there is a chance that I will screw with you. I am teaching myself not to play with people's emotions just because I can.

Take this as a threat, take this as a warning - work with me, work around me - Don't. Work. On. Me.

I don't need to be fixed, I am imperfection as I am & I wouldn't have it any other way. "

 

 

I'd rather die on my feet

than live on my knees.

 

 

Stay strong.

Don't give up.

 

What're your favorite life quotes?



♥Kelsey E. Benedict

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The Gothy Blog Challenge Day 8: Why Don't I Wear Goth All the Time?

Goth can be simple or complex - and I tend to gravitate towards the more complicated outfits: the ones that take a while to put on, put together, and take a few minutes to get comfortable in. 

So it's a time consuming process to begin with, and then you throw in that I have to work that day, and need my work uniform?  I'll admit, I'm lazy, and often don't bother BECAUSE I have work.

♥Kelsey E. Benedict